Holidays approaching, political inanities, crazy weather…

Kick back and join me and fellow Stargate author Melissa Scott for another round of emails between the Atlantis crew, Homeworld Security, the Hammond, and, of course, home base – otherwise known as Stargate Command.  In celebration of the recent paperback releases for SG-1’s The Drift and SGA’s Legacy, we’ve hacked into our heroes’ private computers to bring you the following…

First:  Read the latest email thread running around Atlantis, then come back here to see how SG-1 responds.

To: s.carter@hammond.af.smil.mil
From: j.oneill@hs.pentagon.af.mil
cc: teal.c@sgc.af.mil
Subject: FW: RE: Requested Copy of Mission Report on P2V-772

From Sheppard:
>>>As you know, most of our team reports are given verbally. Can he send Teal’c a tape?

Carter – You spent the better part of a year with those Atlantis num-nuts. What part of a ‘detailed report’ escapes their comprehension? I’ve had better luck catching fish in my pond.

Deal with this, would ya? I don’t care if the report needs to be written in pig-latin. Just get it done.

PS – Speaking of fishing… Getting close to that time of year again.

===

To: teal.c@sgc.af.mil
From: s.carter@hammond.af.smil.mil
From: daniel.jackson@sgc.af.smil.mil
Subject: FW: RE: Requested Copy of Mission Report on P2V-772

I completely understand your frustrations — Ronon’s great in the field, but getting detailed (and useful!) reports is like pulling teeth. Could you give him a specific list of questions to answer? That will probably work best.

If he sends a tape, we can always get it transcribed, or if it’s in Ronon’s native language, maybe Daniel could lend a hand.

General’s dropping hints about a fishing reunion. Can you make it this year?

===

To: s.carter@hammond.af.smil.mil
From: teal.c@sgc.af.mil
cc: daniel.jackson@sgc.af.smil.mil
Subject: FW: RE: Requested Copy of Mission Report on P2V-772

Colonel Carter,

As a former Wraith Runner, Ronon Dex should not require my prompting to supply us with a satisfactory report. Knowing the enemy’s tactics, behaviors, and patterns of attack are the key to success in thwarting their continued efforts. Consider how more extensive our success might have been when we infiltrated Lord Yu’s fortress if we had known the truth behind his Dragon Guard.

I believe I will be unavailable for O’Neill’s fishing engagement. Please extend my apologies.

===
To: teal.c@sgc.af.mil
From: s.carter@hammond.af.smil.mil
From: daniel.jackson@sgc.af.smil.mil
Subject: FW: RE: Requested Copy of Mission Report on P2V-772

>>>I believe I will be unavailable for O’Neill’s fishing engagement.

Nice try. He hasn’t set a date yet. Come on, it’ll be fun. Maybe Rya’c could come along?

===

To: s.carter@hammond.af.smil.mil
From: daniel.jackson@sgc.af.smil.mil
cc: teal.c@sgc.af.mil
Subject: FW: RE: Requested Copy of Mission Report on P2V-772

I’d love to help, but I’m not a walking dictionary of all languages (Pegasus galaxy or otherwise). That’s like saying I can speak all variants of Chinese (and we all know how well that went). Maybe Teal’c should just gate through and get his intel first hand. (That’s one way to avoid a fishing trip).

BTW, Sam… How much longer till you’re back?

PS – What’s going on with Rodney? Haven’t heard a peep since his last email blast. I know Jack’s not crazy about the guy, but at least he remembers his brief encounter with the initial disorientation that goes with being ascended. My memory’s more fuzzy.

===

To: daniel.jackson@sgc.af.smil.mil
From: s.carter@hammond.af.smil.mil
Subject: FW: RE: Requested Copy of Mission Report on P2V-772

I don’t think sending Teal’c is such a hot idea. I’m not sure John wants to break up another six hour plus sparring session.

We should be back in time for the general’s annual fishing trip. Had to drop out of hyperspace for some repairs so I’ve taken turns studying some dark matter anomalies… and catching up on some really bad “science” fiction shows with the crew (and a few that are actually pretty good!)

===

To:  john.sheppard@atlantis.af.smil.mil
From: s.carter@hammond.af.smil.mil
cc:  teal.c@sgc.af.mil; j.oneill@hs.pentagon.af.mil
Subject: FW: RE: Requested Copy of Mission Report on P2V-772

Hey John,

Could you possibly sit down with Ronon and guide him through the report process?  Teal’c needs the usual intel:  numbers, tactics, any observed weaknesses.   If not, he’s offered to gate through…

===

To:  john.sheppard@atlantis.af.smil.mil
From: teal.c@sgc.af.mil
cc:  j.oneill@hs.pentagon.af.mil; s.carter@hammond.af.smil.mil
Subject:  RE: Requested Copy of Mission Report on P2V-772

I am prepared to step through so I may meet with Ronon Dex as soon as he is able.

===

To:  teal.c@sgc.af.mil
From: j.oneill@hs.pentagon.af.mil
cc: s.carter@hammond.af.smil.mil

Subject: RE: Requested Copy of Mission Report on P2V-772

Not so fast, big guy!  I found a new fishing spot less than an hour from D.C. — Just like Hammond promised oh-so-long ago.   Let’s do the man’s memory some justice and go cast a few lines.  Bring Rya’c.